{"id":1677,"date":"2004-05-15T00:57:10","date_gmt":"2004-05-15T00:57:10","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/trystancraft.com\/costume\/?p=1677"},"modified":"2023-09-25T15:24:05","modified_gmt":"2023-09-25T22:24:05","slug":"i-am-a-fucking-moron","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/2004\/05\/15\/i-am-a-fucking-moron\/","title":{"rendered":"I am a fucking moron"},"content":{"rendered":"

And not just because I sewed the collar in upside down. Well, ok, mostly because of that. But also because of my asinine attempts to modify this men’s Colonial coat pattern into a more fitted, girlie pirate coat. The side darts are all fucked up — but I thought I cover the front with silver trim and shiny buttons which would distract from the weird fitting issues. But the collar was the last straw.<\/p>\n

Today I started the collar. Interfacing and basting (which is a bitch on velvet), and when I got to the point of sewing it onto the coat, it didn’t fit. Way too small. So I cut out a whole new collar, longer, to fit the neckline that I’d modified when I was making the coat more fitted. Sew the second collar on the coat, following the pattern instructions, which are deceptive. Realized the collar was upside down — lining facing up instead of down — after I’d graded the seams, clipped curves, etc. FUCK.<\/p>\n

But even worse, when I try to see how it would look if the lining were sewed as if it was the front, well, it’s all screwed. The collar won’t lay flat. It buckles all over the place. Not little fitting problems — no, BIG ones. Looks like absolute shit. It’s beyond slapdash costumey. It’s just completely lame. Two major areas of the fit are fucked beyond redemption, so the coat is a lost cause.<\/p>\n

I’m convinced that trying to fix this would be more trouble than starting over, esp. because I’ve already cut away fabric from the neck and dart areas. Can’t add that back.<\/p>\n

ARRRRGGGGHHHHH!!!! I should know better than to mess with major structural pattern elements. I’m fine if I change a sleeve or make a new style of edge. But sex-change patterning? Not my bag, baby. I can’t go male to female. I’m in over my head. Hello, after 20 years, I’m still a beginning costumer. Fuck me.<\/p>\n

So now what? Some options…<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Got the fancy hat blank today (with help from a friend). Could just make the tricorn, trim it, and wear with something I got at C10, even though those are more Victorian. Whatever. Random very vague piratey. Blah. Easy.<\/li>\n
  2. See if I have enough purple and black velvet to make the same coat again. The men’s pattern, only take it in enough to fit. Not fit girlie-style, just not be so big. Flat front, take in the shoulders a teeny bit, leave the sleeves big, take in the sides only a wee bit. Hard. Trim hat and wear with.<\/li>\n
  3. Make a different jacket from a women’s pattern. Use purple and black velvet (if enough) or purple flocked fabric (same as the skirt). Use the silver trim and buttons I already have. Hard. Trim hat and wear with.<\/li>\n
  4. Make a fitted vest from the purple flocked fabric. Add purple or black velvet facings along the center front, use silver trim and buttons. Make white blouse with super-full sleeves. Trim hat and wear with.<\/li>\n
  5. Fuck the pirate shit. Wear something else on Sunday at BayCon.<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    Important to note: I only have two full weekend days and three evenings to finish everything. ARGH.<\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

     <\/p>\n

    \"Pirate<\/a>

    Pirate coat, mark 2, in progress<\/p><\/div>\n

     <\/p>\n

    Later that night…<\/em><\/p>\n

    Not only am I a moron, I’m clinically insane… because I decided to try the men’s pattern one more time in black and purple velvets. Yes, I’m crazy.<\/p>\n

    Although it’s turning out ok (knock on wood) so far. I got as far as the collar and have the sleeves ready to cuff and set in tomorrow. The only fitting modification I did this time was to take in the side seams and reduce the shoulders and armscye the tiniest bit. Oh and the sleeves are narrower and shorter. No changes to the neck, so the collar fit fine. No darts in the front — it will just hang flat, no shaping. This *should* look ok because the front is so deeply cut-away. Also, this area is where all the trim and buttons will go. A perfect distraction from the fit.<\/p>\n

    The first attempt was in purple velvet with black contrast. The second attempt is the opposite, because that’s what I had left.<\/p>\n

    See, I couldn’t give up on this yet. I had a vision in my head that I really wanted to see come alive. It’s a compulsion. It’s my passion. That’s why I costume — I have clothing and fashion images in my head that I want to create. These visions demand to live, but unlike Athena, they can’t spring fully formed from my brain (although they often give me splitting headaches and always produce Zeus-like swearing).<\/p>\n

    Sure, I could thrift something or buy costume pieces. And I do that pretty often too. But some ideas gnaw at me. Or I gnaw at them with a rat-terrier-like persistence. Even the small, inconsequential ones can drive me batty with the desire to see and wear them. And this damn elegant lady pirate idea is one such obsession. The only problem is that I didn’t get fixated on it earlier, so I’m scrambling to sew something in time for a chance to wear it.<\/p>\n

    I think I can finish the jacket mark 2.0 early tomorrow. It will need a couple nights of hand-sewing for the trim and buttons (ugh, I hate hand-sewing, but I can do it during playoff games, which might make it go better). Then I need to hustle with the skirt and hat. Accessories are going to be skimpy on this one, methinks. At minimum, must scrounge for a black leather belt so I can wear my short sword. Even the most refined pirate lady needs a sword!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    And not just because I sewed the collar in upside down. Well, ok, mostly because of that. But also because of my asinine attempts to modify this men’s Colonial coat pattern into a more fitted, girlie pirate coat. The side darts are all fucked up — but I thought I cover the front with silver<\/p>\n

    Read the Rest of this Post…<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":4696,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"nf_dc_page":"","_exactmetrics_skip_tracking":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_active":false,"_exactmetrics_sitenote_note":"","_exactmetrics_sitenote_category":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[11],"tags":[92,123],"class_list":["post-1677","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-fantasy","tag-failure-is-always-an-option","tag-lady-pirate"],"yoast_head":"\nI am a fucking moron | Trystan's Costume Closet<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/2004\/05\/15\/i-am-a-fucking-moron\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"I am a fucking moron | Trystan's Costume Closet\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"And not just because I sewed the collar in upside down. Well, ok, mostly because of that. But also because of my asinine attempts to modify this men’s Colonial coat pattern into a more fitted, girlie pirate coat. 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Actual sewing irritates me, but taking various things and hacking them into my vision and loading\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "Gothic"","block_context":{"text":"Gothic","link":"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/category\/gothic\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"Carnevale 2022 gothic regency outfit","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/wp-content\/uploads\/2022\/06\/carnevale2022-preview.jpg?fit=450%2C600&ssl=1&resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2975,"url":"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/2012\/12\/15\/coat-progress\/","url_meta":{"origin":1677,"position":3},"title":"Coat Progress","author":"Trystan","date":"December 15, 2012","format":false,"excerpt":"My coat for 12th Night is getting quite close to done. Needs hemming & a short collar. But I will probably go sleeveless at this point. See, I still have this crazy idea to wear it over the 1530s gown as more of a giorn\u00e9a or perhaps it might be\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "16th Century"","block_context":{"text":"16th Century","link":"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/category\/16th-century\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/12\/zimmaraprogres3.jpg?resize=350%2C200","width":350,"height":200},"classes":[]},{"id":2168,"url":"https:\/\/www.trystancraft.com\/costume\/2006\/03\/22\/fairy-tale-18th-century-pair\/","url_meta":{"origin":1677,"position":4},"title":"Fairy-Tale 18th-Century Pair","author":"Trystan","date":"March 22, 2006","format":false,"excerpt":"These are some my favorite costumes I've ever made. I almost regret selling them on eBay, except that I got a very good price and the money went towards the closing costs on our house. So a fair trade, really. The dressform photos below are from the eBay listing. 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